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Badtzmarugirl31
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Country: United States State: New York Gender: Female
Interests: I love to dance! Latin dance, Ballroom competitions, NYU Ballroom Dance Team, reading, singing, chatting, traveling, thinking, shopping, music, piano, movies, reading on New Age philosophies, the soul, karma, listening to people's life stories
Expertise: Meeting planning, dance, moping, analyzing, steak, sarcasm, bubble tea, horoscopes
Occupation: Medical Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/10/2002
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| Wow, the last time I blogged was a long, long, long time ago. I haven't thought about Xanga in 2 years...2 years is a lot of time, really, I've come to realize how short life really is. So much happens and all of them unplanned for (or maybe subconsciously, that's how I wanted them to go).
I can say that I'm content at where I am in life, although sometimes there are bits and pieces that can be more perfect but the truth is that there will always been something wrong with a picture. Wrong might be the wrong word, since everything in life is about the choices we make and of course, the consequences.
In these 2 years, tons of more people have gotten married, engaged, met someone, broken up, had kids, changed jobs, changed dance partners, moved (including dance studios), and all of us probably have matured (hopefully). I am grateful for all of the time that has passed; it has shown me great things. I feel everything deeply, but nothing more than gratitude for each day that I am healthy, that I am married, that I have some really great friends, and that I've learned to appreciate all the little things that make living a great thing. This profound understanding of appreciation for everyone and everything is something I didn't have - 2 years ago.
At the root of it all, I feel extremely grateful and lucky that I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism and the Soka Gakkai International (Value-Creation International) by a good friend exactly 2 years ago. It changed my life and changed my perception of life and helped me to understand the importance of everyone in relation to myself in life. I do not take anyone for granted, although I might be able to understand if someone took me for granted, and it's probably because I let it happen. The laws of cause and effect, or karma, has opened my eyes and allowed me to understand myself and other people around me better, how we are all connected to each other and to the rest of the universe. Every single action we take matters, and every thought we have count, but most important are the "treasures of the heart". That has never changed.
I think that in the 2 years that I haven't signed onto Xanga, I may have cultivated more treasures of the heart - more love for my family, my friends; more compassion for other people; and last but not least, love and confidence in myself.
I don't have a dance partner at the moment, and I am awaiting the start of a new job, as well as for my husband to return from his year-long overseas work assignment, but I do not feel alone. I am grateful for all that I have and for all that is to come. This is the greatest gift that I have been given in these 2 years of silence. | | |
| Today was the NE Regionals dance competition where all the dancers of NE part of US compete to qualify for the Nationals (nation-wide) competition in August. All you have to do is just dance one dance and it doesn't matter how well you do. So partner and I decided we would just do the champ level and see how it goes. We also could have done pre-champ but there wasn't as much incentive as we've faced most competition and overcome most of them. Champ was some sort of a joke. Those big guys have been around for a long time and they know they're good. The minute i walked on the floor i just couldn't shake away that "i want to go home now" feeling. Our teammates and friends told us we danced well, even though to us it felt like shit. I fell in my favorite and best dance, the cha. That just couldn't count as quality dance (although ppl do fall from time to time and it's usually not a liability) because no, you just don't slip in your favorite and best dance. I think in the end we were just happy to have been cut in the first round and to go home with our tails in between our legs. But seriously, it felt like we were doing champ for the first time even though we've done something to this extent a few times before. Some ppl that we didn't know were cheering for us...i think we both were thinking "stop drawing attention to us!" Haha, well hopefully next time we'll do better. It wasn't so much as we didn't feel like we didn't belong there as much as we weren't prepared enough. Oh wells, the truth is that there will always be people better than us and there is nothing that we can do about that. We're the old bones against some young adults..no comparison to that. I'm grateful to even have been able to get this far..never thought I could have. :). | | |
| Today was the NE Regionals dance competition where all the dancers of NE part of US compete to qualify for the Nationals (nation-wide) competition in August. All you have to do is just dance one dance and it doesn't matter how well you do. So partner and I decided we would just do the champ level and see how it goes. We also could have done pre-champ but there wasn't as much incentive as we've faced most competition and overcome most of them. Champ was some sort of a joke. Those big guys have been around for a long time and they know they're good. The minute i walked on the floor i just couldn't shake away that "i want to go home now" feeling. Our teammates and friends told us we danced well, even though to us it felt like shit. I fell in my favorite and best dance, the cha. That just couldn't count as quality dance (although ppl do fall from time to time and it's usually not a liability) because no, you just don't slip in your favorite and best dance. I think in the end we were just happy to have been cut in the first round and to go home with our tails in between our legs. But seriously, it felt like we were doing champ for the first time even though we've done something to this extent a few times before. Some ppl that we didn't know were cheering for us...i think we both were thinking "stop drawing attention to us!" Haha, well hopefully next time we'll do better. It wasn't so much as we didn't feel like we didn't belong there as much as we weren't prepared enough. Oh wells, the truth is that there will always be people better than us and there is nothing that we can do about that. We're the old bones against some young adults..no comparison to that. I'm grateful to even have been able to get this far..never thought I could have. :). | | |
| ..here's a funny story: duwayne and I were asked to do a performance for the today show yesterday. D came up to me after i changed and asked if i wanted to do it. he said it was 9am in the morning. so it goes: D: do you want to do it? S: it's 9 in the morning.. D: yeah, well it's up to you. S: but 9 in the morning. D: ehh..well we don't have to do it. S: but it would be nice to do it although i don't wnat to fall in front of national television D: you won't fall. so decide. S: let's do stone papers and scissors..wait you always win. D: how about we flip a coin (searches pocket for a quarter) Today show person (a few feet away): Oh! it's okay we found another couple! D & S: ohhh ok that's great, by all means, good, great! ( waving hands and sighing with relief). There went our first chance to dance live. I guess we are both too lazy hahahah. National tv vs. sleep. sleep wins.
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| Man, finally done with this semester. Actually, this is the most lackadaisical semester of school work that i've ever produced in my entire life. hell, i didn't even study for the final until an hour before it. and then i wrote up a lot of made-up answers, barely checked them and then left. Before i left, i was told by my professor that i didn't complete 5 of the 10 journals required of me for my other observation class (had to go sit in a class in another school observing kindergarteners. rather interesting, actually. PS 112 all the way in East Harlem). Thank goodness the professor is leaving Hunter in June and therefore doesn't seem to care to penalize students that much at this point (what's the point? she doesn't care, which is good for lazy students like me). I'm just glad the semester is over, although the next will definitely be worst, and tomorrow is the last day of work before winter break begins. I have until Jan. 2 to lie around and do nothing (which is probably what i will be doing word for word). I'm looking forward, though, to dec. 27th when a ghstny will be around again and then the 30th when N will be back. meanwhile, i'm trying not to be mentally killed off by my dance arch-nemesis. I should chant nam-myoho-renge-kyo about it (I am a Nichiren Buddhist. Yay, i'm finally religious). | | |
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